The Family Stone

"Clare Danes spends the whole movie attempting to leave on a bus - and you're going, 'please, please let us come with you'." - Mark Kermode, BBC Radio 5live

Grizzly and "absolutely loathsome" Love Actually rip-off that succeeds in making the actual Love Actually look like a searing social-realist drama that gets right to the heart of the dark, foul heart of Christmas.

Dermot Mulroney came in for particular strident criticism during the review - "Why is that woman hugging a wardrobe?" - while Sarah Jessica Parker's character, while herself incredibly annoying, was by far the most sympathetic character and Mark would not have blamed her if she had attacked the whole of the rest of the family with an axe.

Mark got bored even during the playing of the clip. The rant in the kitchen competition to win a collection of promotional film memorabilia that had accumulated in the office throughout 2005 included various items from The Family Stone, but Mark suggested the only appropriate things to come with the film would be an eye mask, earplugs and a crash helmet.

At the press screening, following a sequence in the screen faded to black and the movie appeared to end, a prominent and well-known American critic got up to leave. When a new scene began, he exclaimed "Oh god!" and the rest of the critics applauded; they all felt exactly the same way.