Rambo

"Not only a terribly bad piece of filmmaking, but a morally repugnant work" - Mark Kermode, BBC Radio 5live

Any mention of Sylvester Stallone will lead Mark to tell the story of when, back in his Radio 1 days, he spent the worst day of his life in Cannes chasing the star of Cop Land around, having been told by his editor at the time that if he did not come back with an interview then he should not come back at all.

When, at the end of a long and exhausting day, he finally secured the chat, Stallone told him that he would never do a Rocky or Rambo movie again, because they were stupid and he had moved on.

This turned out not to be true. In the case of Rocky, Mark was not unhappy about this. However, Rambo - returning in his eponymous 2008 movie - was something different. It was, in the good Doctor's words, "so much worse than stupid."

The film has a body count of 236, and is 91 minutes long - equating to 2.59 deaths per minute.

"It is like watching someone down on their knees, saying 'give me a pile of money, and I will do absolutely anything... Will work for millions."

Mark argued that the BBFC's verdict on the film - saying it relies on the audience's desire to see retribution for acts carried out earlier in the work - was as close as they can go to saying it is morally bankrupt.

Odeon, delightfully, refused to show the film at all. Mark said it was on the grounds that it was "pants beyond belief."