Cannes

Cannes is located in the South of France and is the venue for an annual film festival of some note. Mark hates it.

He has commented on attendees at films moo-ing in disapproval at films being one of its strange features. He was once thrown out of a screening of Lars von Trier's The Idiots for shouting abuse in French during the scenes of hardcore pornography. Mark did not go back to Cannes for five years.

In the 1990s, Mark was at Cannes and ordered by his editor at Radio 1 to return with an interview with Sylvester Stallone or not return at all.

At the end of "worst day of my life" - after chasing the Rocky and Rambo star around for the entire day - he got two minutes of material in which Stallone said he would never make another film in the franchise series that had made his name. A pledge that he later broke. Twice.

It was during the 2007 Cannes festival that Mark delivered his epic, 11-minute Pirates Of The Caribbean 3 rantologue.

Simon was at the Open golf and actually had time to get up and check the scoreboard without anyone noticing, such was the frenzy of Mark's delivery.

Mark's mood may not have been helped by the fact that James King had spent the week complaining about his accommodation, which - when Mark saw it after visiting the apartment in question to connect up for the show - turned out to be "lovely and cool." Mark claimed that this was a "complete class distinction" and demanded that James be fired immediately.

It was also at Cannes that, during a screening of The Orphanage, a random member of the audience grabbed Mark's arm and dug their nails into his (very manly) flesh at one of the terrifying moments. Mark described it as one of those experiences that only happens at the best horror films.

Some films at Cannes are nominated for awards, including the Palme d'Or and the Uncertain Regard categories. Those that are not are considered Horse Competition.