Knowing

"The worst movie I have ever seen" - Colin Murray, BBC Radio 5 Live

"You haven't seen enough truly terrible movies. Come and spend a weekend with my video collection" - Mark Kermode, BBC Radio 5 Live

Clearly a film by M Night-To-Remember Shalamar, except it isn't. Colin Murray thought it was the worst film he had ever, ever seen, and to his credit he spent a lot of time considering whether that could really be true, including checking every cupboard that had a film in it - but after much deliberation concluded that yes, it really was. He was particularly affronted by the standing of the acting from Old Horse Face, which was so bad he expected the women in the film to start taking their clothes off, as the only other time he had seen thespian performances that bad was in porn. On the other hand, Murray would rather have seen this than Slumdog Squarepants, as he only thought that Oh Danny Boyle's film was average (he was particularly bothered that it changed the ending of the original book), whereas there is a real pleasure in seeing a truly terrible movie.

Mark Kermode of course thought Murray was wrong on both counts - Slumdog Squarepants obviously being fantastic and Knowing being a perfectly average middling movie. While noting that it was silly, it did at least have the courage of its Twilight Zone convictions and followed them through to their logical conclusion. (He did conceded that in the scene with the burning moose, "you're meant to think, 'ooh' but you actually think, 'nah'.")

Prior to the film's release, Simon Mayo had noted that the film's tagline - "what happens when all the numbers run out?" - was the least scary tagline ever, as you can always count back from a higher number, or just go minus. To be fair, the tagline does make sense in context with the film, but Simon was not to know that.