Woody Allen

Endlessly quotable American comedy actor-director. Mark Kermode makes a lot of references to Allen in his reviews, especially his jokes about shooting a moose; about two ladies in a restaurant ("The food here is terrible." "Yes - and in such small portions!"); and his divorce on the grounds of insufficient laughter.

It has been noted many times (not least by Simon Mayo) that Mark's Woody Allen impression is almost exactly the same as his of Quentin Tarantino.

The Woody Allen rule is that any work that isn't utterly terrible will always be described by critics as a "major return to form".

Mark involuntarily boycotted Allen once, when he refused to stand and applaud at the end of the Cannes premiere of Vicky Cristina Barcelona, because Bonio was messing around on stage behind him.

Incidentally, was in response to seeing Allen's film Vicky Cristina Barcelona that one listener sent in a text in which they coined the word "Wittertainee".