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Things to shout at the screen

Last updated: 3/21/2025

Things to shout at the screen

Before the Code of Conduct explicitly banned talked in the cinema, Mark and Simon often encouraged people to say - indeed, shout - things during films. These included:

  • "It's the death of maritime cinema" / "Thank you Kevin, I'm off to the pub" (Bottom Gun - specifically at the 90-minute mark, as Alaska looms and the film seems to end)
  • "Yes, but it's not as good as Splash" (Aquamarine - and then you have to take your 8-12-year-old daughter home and show them Splash)
  • "No, no, and thrice no - I'm not having it" (Babel)
  • "Craptain my craptain" (Dead Poets Society)
  • "It's interesting, Nick Winding Refn gets his filmmaking talent from his father Andres Refn, who was the editor on Lars von Trier's Dogville" (Pusher 3 - specifically if you want to interest a partner with whom you might seek to enjoy a special cuddle)
  • "Cannibal Apocalypto" (Apocalypto - except no-one did this)
  • "Don't tell him Pike!" when Captain Pike is being tortured in JJ Abrams' Star Trek (2009)

Although actually shouted at a play rather than a screen, Mark and Simon continue to enjoy the story of Pia Zadora's ill-fated performance in a stage production of Anne Frank - in which a member of the audience, exasperated by the lack of acting talent being displayed, saw the Nazis ominously enter the Frank household and, in an effort to move things on a touch, exclaimed, "she's in the attic!"