Nicholas Sparks

And we're back.

The classic Nicholas Sparks hero is a man of few words who looks good with his shirt off, pets a dog, and can sand down the hull of a boat, preferably while bathed in a magic-hour, early-evening glow. It's basically the last scene of The Shawshank Redemption but for two hours, except that whereas Mark likes Nicholas Sparks films, he really hates the last scene of The Shawshank Redemption.

It should be noted that sanding boats is a movie trope of quite some history - Mark criticised its use as far back as his review of Must Love Dogs (2005) as being hackneyed - but no-one employs it to more devastating effect than Sparks.