Mystic Mark

Whether it's predicting the winners at the Oscars, who will get the Republican candidacy and subsequently who will win the race for the White House, or the score of the next soccerball game involving the Spurs, Mystic Mark can provide a divination.

Send in nail clippings, locks of hair or your used tea leaves for Mark to prognosticate upon.

It should be pointed out though that Mystic Mark's predictions have not always proved to be totally accurate. Is Viggo Mortensen the new Robert de Niro? Some may say, and indeed many have said, that, due to glitches in the matrix, they have been almost entirely spectacularly wrong. In fact how much more wrong is it possible to be than a Mystic Mark divination? The answer is none - none more wrong!

It is worth noting, however, that in March 2007 - some six months before Northern Rock and 18 months before Lehmann Brothers - Mark predicted that "the world economy is about to collapse" (while doing his Top 10 review of Norbit). Spookily enough, the podcast that week was named for the film Premonition.

And the week of the release of The House Bunny: "Is it funny? No. Is it subversive? No. Did I laugh? No. Will it be number one? Most likely." It was, and the next week's show began with the declaration "move over Mystic Meg."

What everyone needs to know though is It's all going to be alright in the end.

Also, what everyone needs to know is that Mark spotted Paul Greengrass first (when his 1989 debut Resurrected was released, he was the only critic "quoted sensibly on the poster"), and also Colin Firth, when he was in the Mark Evans film Trauma.

First broadcast March 4, 2016.

If Wittertainees have access to an Amazon Echo they can ask "Alexa ask Mystic Mark...<anything you want>." and get an indication as to what Mark thinks their future may hold.