Witterpedia

Welcome to Witterpedia

This site is dedicated to the in-jokes and recurrent themes present in the Kermode and Mayo's Film Review show.

Witterpedia is a collaborative wiki where fans can document and explore the rich history of in-jokes, recurring segments, and memorable moments from the show.

10 Commandments of Wittertainment

10th anniversary of word Wittertainment

2001: A Space Odyssey

500 Days Of Puke

61-minute-long-film

70mm roadshow version

AI: Artificial Intelligence

A Cure For Wellness

A History Of Violence

A Street Cat Named Bob

A Time To Fall Asleep

A lot of Shawshank before you get to the Redemption

A series of still images put together to create the illusion of movement

Accept no substitute

Airplane station

Alastair Campbell

Album of the week

All Request Friday

All over the place

Alternative facts

Amy Adams is incredibly wet

Anaesthetists vs Surgeons

And I'm not even joking?

Andrew Fletcher

Angels and Demons

Anthropomorphism rules

Apothecaries' Atrium

Apothecarys Atrium

Architects' Aedicule

Architects aedicule

Are We Rotting In Hell Yet?

Armando Iannucci

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Ask for the and

Attack the Block

Australia - What, All Of It

Avagers: End of Ultron

BBC Radio 5 Live

BBFC-style Box Office Top 10

Babadook, dook, dook....

Bareback Mountain

Basic Instinct 2

Basil Exposition

Bassooners' bower

Bassooners bower

Beautifully shot rule

Ben Bailey Smith

Benedict Cumberbatch

Benefit financially

Benjamin Sniddlegrass

Benjamin Sniddlegrass and the Cauldron of Penguins

Beverly Hills Chihooahooa

Black And White Documentary About Liverpool

Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan

Born Again Floozies

Boston Consul General

Box Office Top 10

Bradlety Cooper

Breaking The Waves

Brechtian Alienation Device

Brendan Pasta Boy Fraser

Brideshead Redecorated

Bridge To Terabithia

Bumbly mumbly speech

Burn After Reading

Cartoonists Corner

Catherine Beta Blocker

Cattle Prod Cinema

Celebrity Steam Room

Ceramicists' Corner

Ceramicists Corner

Chaos, disharmony, and murder

Charles Dickens's England

Charlie Brooker

Charlie Humdrum

Charlie Kaufman

Charlotte from The Subways

Chesil Beach Far Away In Time

Christmastime In Witterland

Christopher Walk-on

Chromatic Harmonica

Chuffed as nuts

Church of Wittertainment

Cinema Goers Cranny

Cinema detritus

Cinematic sudoku

Clarisse Loughrey

Classic podcast of the year

Clifford The Big Red Dog

College Road Trip

Colonial commoner

Comedy spending rule

Compulsory family fun time

Cornelius Lysaght

Counter-programming

Couples Retreat

Crash (the David Cronenberg one)

Crash (the Sandra Bullock one)

Credit Crunch Movies

Cricket film titles

Cronenbergian body horror

Cut Mark off button

DOA: Dead Or Alive

DVD of the week

DVD of the week of the year

Darren Aaron Aronofsky

David Cronenberg

David Morrissey

Dead Poets Society

Deal Of The Century

Dear ... and ...

Death of narrative cinema

Desk destruction

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo

Dial-It-Down Button

Diddly Bong from the Diddleadong Daily

Die Hard Four Point Less

Dilight Twinosaur

Diminished expectations

Dinner For Schmucks

Diplomatic reception

Diplomats Dungeon

Dirty Sanchez: The Movie

Does exactly what it says on the tin

Does what it says on the tin

Dogpocalypse Bow-wow

Doktor von Plot Explanation

Dougal And The Blue Cat

Downloading Snapchat

Drag Me To Hull

Drimnin Sheepdog Trials and Film Festival

Driving Miss Daisy

Drop A Letter Game

Drop The Last Letter game

ET: The Extra Terrestrial

Edinburgh Box Office Top 10

Einen dicken Hals haben

Eleventy stupid

Elvis' Favourite Film

Email Of The Week

Email interruption

EmmaStone Lake And Palmer

Emotional collage

Entryist filmmaking

Eraserhead For Kids

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

Everyone involved should be thoroughly ashamed

Exorcist II: The Heretic

Exploding Helicopter Quotient

Extremely Long And Incredibly Crass

Extremely Long And Incredibly Dull

Failure To Lunch

Fairport Convention

Favourite films

Film Lover’s Prayer

Film Review Show

Film Reviewed By Its Own Title

Film Socialisme

Film critic terms

Films produced by actors rule

Flagship film programme

Flanders and Swann

Flappy Hands and Charles Hawtrey

Forrest Gump on a tractor

Forrest Gump with A-levels

Four Christmases

French society of people who stand up, applaud and leave when the title of the movie is used in a line of dialogue

Friends of the show

Full Metal Hi-Hat

Game with no name

Gardeners gazebo

Generic MP3 player

Generic fruit based device

Gents toilets at The Hawthorns

George, George, George Of The Jungle, Look Out For That Tree

Gerard De-pas-de-deux

Getting Along Famously

Gig Goers Code of Conduct

Going to the pictures

Good Lady Ceramicist Her Indoors

Good Lady Potter

Good Lady Professor Her Indoors

Good Luck Chuck

Grammar pedantry

Grizelda Dominguez

Guilty Pleasures

Guys with cameras

Gwyneth Paltrow

Hachi: A Dog's Tale

Hairdresser rule

Handbag full of marbles

Happy Christmas to...

Hardeep Singh Kohli

Harrington Jacket

Harry Connick Junior

Harry On Camping

Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban

Harvey Keitel story

Hawtrey and Orc

Hayden Christensen

He's Just Not That Into U2

He's a girl, she's a bloke, it's a sledge, he's a ghost

Heartache Avenue

Heartbreak Hotel

Helena Period Drama

Her Majesty Mrs Brown

Here's the thing

Heritage Listener

High School Musical

High School Musical 2

High School Musical 3

High School Musical 3: Senior Year

Hip Replacement Row

Hitman (without Her)

Hollywood agent

Horrible Bosses 2

Horse Competition

Horticulturalists haven

Horton Hears A Who

House Prices Dallas

How To Make A Sam Mendes Film

How do you...? You just...!

How to draw cartoons the Wittertainment way

Howard The Duck

Hrithky Hroth of Biddly Bong, third cousin of Thriddledeedee the Thwarted

Hull Box Office Top 10

Humanist Hollow

Hungarian Film About Vomiting

Hunt for the Wilderpeople

I'd like to buy the world a Coke

I'm not angry...

I'm not even joking

I’ve seen it a couple of times now

I Am John Legend

I say it here, it comes out there

Ice Age 3: Dine Of The Dawnosaurs

Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Unmemorable Name Made Of Gold

Inglourious COUGHING

Internet Movie Database

Is nothing to do with the BBC

It's A Wonderful Life

It's Only A Movie

It's all going to be alright in the end

It's not about...

It wasn't the same without you

Jackboot of oppression

Jean de Boorman

Jennifer Aniston

Joel Schumacher

John R Leonetti

Johnny knock me down

Journey To The Center Of The Earth

Judd Apatapatow

Kathryn Bigelow

Katie Winceyette

Kermode & Mayo's Film Thing

Kermode and Mayo's Take

Kermodian Rhapsody

Kermodian sentence

Kevin Spacey Box Office Top 10

Kevin Spacey Top 10

Kingsman: The Golden Syrup

Kingsmen: The Golden Syrup

Knittertainment

Knuckle cracking

Låt Den Rätte Komma In

Lab closure rule

Lachrymosity Syndrome

Lady In The Water

Lassie Hallstrom

Last House On The Left

Last aisle seat on the left

Last projectionist standing

Laugh like a drain

League Of Gentlemen

Leaving Las Vegas

Leeds Box Office Top 10

Leonardo diCaprio

Les Miserables and his Orchestra

Let's call the whole thing off

Let's make radio history

Liam Neeson: Wolf Puncher

Liberal Guilt: The Movie

Litotes amaze and not unemosh

Little Lord Fauntleroy

Live Wittertainment

Lobby Correspondents

London's Time Out

Lord Jeremy of Irons

Lord Of The Rings

Love the show Steve

Luis Buñuel box set

M Night-To-Remember Shalamar

Mackenzie Crook

Man looking up something on a computer

Manchester University

March Of The Penguins

Margot At The Wedding

Mark's Stag Night

Mark Kermode's All Time Top 10 Best Films Evs

Mark sings early synth pop

Martin Lawrence rule

Martin in Old Portsmouth

Matt Damon's helmet

Matthew Bannister

Matthew Mahogany

Max von Soodorf

McWittertainment

Meet The Robinsons

Meet The Spartans

Meg Ryan is a helicopter pilot

Melioristic mooing

Metropolitan sophisticates

Michael Caine Jaws 4 anecdotes

Michael Portillo

Midafternoon indigestion

Mighty Jungle Beasts

Mike Figgis' story about immigrants arriving in New York

Mikhail Baybatov

Morecambe and Wise

Movie Of The Month

Movie of the Week

Moviegoers Code of Conduct

Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium

Mr Poopy Goes To The Toilet

Mrs Brown's Boys D'Movie

Murder On The Snorient Express

Muriël Strepsil

My Life In Ruins

Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey

Never review a film you haven't seen

New Listener Nook

New listeners corner

Newsnight Review

Nicholas Sparks

Nicolas the French Engineer

Nicole Kindling

Nietzschean story

Night Vale Nook

No Country For X-Men

No redeeming qualities whatsoever

Noah And The Whale

Norwegian branch

Not unproblematic

Nothing if not inconsistent

Obscure 70's music

Odd little film

Ode of Conduct 2018

Oedipal expletive

Of course I've seen the film

Official BBC spoiler alert

Official website

Oliver Reed Story

Olympic Opening Ceremony

Other opinions are also available

PS I Love You (Everyone Else Thinks You Stink)

Pan's Labyrinth

Para-Normans Pickled Onions

Parachuted In From Another Film

Parasnormal Inactivity

Parent and Baby Cinema

Partly political broadcast

Paul Andrew Williams

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

Paul Greengrass

Paul Thomas Anderson

People's Box Office Top 10

People behind the glass

Peoples Republic of Wittertainia

Performing monkey

Peter from Germany

Peter in the Czech Republic

Pharisaic cadre

Philip Seymour Hoffman

Phoenix Cinema, East Finchley

Phone-in review

Pinky and Perky

Piranha Women In The Avocado Jungle Of Death

Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End

Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl

Pirates Of The Caribbean 3

Pirates of the Caribbean

Pisces rules the feet

Pokemon: The First Movie

Poltergeist rule

Polymorphously bisexual

Portmanteau word

Post-modernism means never having to say you're sorry

Powder blue scarf of confliction

Prac Crit Porridge

Praising with faint damns

Pre-show sharpener

Public Service Broadcasting

Punch-Drunk Love

Punctuated! For! Emphasis!

QE2 docking in Southampton

Q and if you will, E.D.

Quasi Nietzschean Tract

Quentin Tarantino

Question Of Sport

Quiet, quiet, quiet, BANG!

Quirksome to the point of irksome

Racing from Chilcot

Radio Academy Award

Radvent calendar

Railtown Bottlers

Raincoat brigade

Rancid Aluminium

Rancid Aluminum

Rant in the kitchen

Red Herring Alert

Reducto ad absurdum

Remade in American

Renée Zellweger

Revenge Of The Sexually Pathological Voyeur

Revolutionary Road

Richard Blinky Gere

Richard E Grant

Rise Of The Guardian

Robbie Williams

Robbie loves the boos

Robert Downey Jr

Ronan Keating Moment

Rory Cellan-Jones

Run For Your Wife

SIR Ben Kingsley

Sanjeev Bhaskar

Saving Private Ryan

Saw with A-levels

Scarlet Johansson

Scarlett Johansson

Sceptical receptacle

Sciencing correctly

Secondary infection

Sentimentality porn

Sex And The City

Sex And The City 2

Sex Lives Of The Potato Men

Shaun Of The Dead

She's a little bit country, he's a little bit rock and roll

Sheep in Wolf Of Wall Street's clothing

Shut Up Butt What

Shut up Buttwad

Sienna Miller Lite

Sight and Sound

Simon's normal voice

Simon Mayo Not Knowing Things

Sir Alan Parker

Sir Anthony Hopkins

Sir Guy Ritchie

Sir Ken Chuckles Branagh

Sleeping in the cinema

Slumdog Squarepants

Smelly Pants Wee

Socialist Actually Party

Solid Piece of Work

Southampton University

Southland Tales

Sport Relief Box Office Top 10

Sport Relief Top 10

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

Star Wars Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi

Staring into the Abyss

Stephen Woolley

Steve's Steeple

Steven Spielberg

Stockhausen Syndrome

Stockhausen Syndrome (Noun)

Straight in and non-mover

Straight to the heart of the periphery

Stripping with A-levels

Supply teachers terrace

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street

Sword Of The Rings

TURN THE LIGHTS ON

TV Movie of the Week

TV shows adapted into films rule

Tab A into Slot B

Taken 2 The Cleaners

Teachers Trancept

Teenage slump zone

Tennis film titles

Terminator Saladnation

Tertiary syphilis

Test Match Special

That Torture Movie

That brought back a few memories

The Accidental Husband

The Adventures Of Simon Salad Cream

The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford

The Back Up Plan

The Big Lebowski

The Bounty Hunter

The Brothers Grimm

The Coen Brothers

The Cornerhouse

The Culture Show

The Da Vinci Code

The Dark Knight

The Dear Listener

The Devil's Rejects

The Devil Inside

The Devil Wears Nappies

The Diving Bell And The Butterfly

The Dukes Of Hazzard

The Edge Of Love

The Elvis non-starring story

The Emoji Movie

The Fall of Western Civilisation

The Family Stone

The Fault In Our Mars

The Film Review

The French Connection

The French Woman's Left Leg

The Gentlemens Channel

The Good, The Bad And The Multiplex

The Hills Have Eyes 2

The Hottie And The Nottie

The House Bunny

The Hurt Locker

The Interrupterer

The Last House On The Left

The Least Memorable Title Ever

The Leisure Society

The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Painter

The Mark Strong But Game

The Movie Doctors

The Noddy Holder Men and Motors Anecdote

The Parent Trap

The Second Jason Isaacs Box Office Top 10

The Shawshank Redemption

The Shouty Woman

The Six Laugh Test

The Stewardesses

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Date

The Thick Of It

The Towering Inferno

The Trumpeting Of Mighty Jungle Beasts

The Unfortunate Event

The Waiting Room

The Wedding Date

The film doesn't work

The hill you die on

The rambly bits

The rubbishest band in the history of rubbish

The worst movie I've ever seen

Theatrical presentation

Therapists couch

Thing that goes on a thing

Things Mark was wrong about

Things about which Mark was wrong

Things to shout at the screen

This is the type of radio energy I like

Three Billboards Outside Epping, Essex

Ticks all the boxes

Tinkerty tonk old fruit, and down with the Nazis

Tinkety tonk old fruit, and down with the Nazis

Titans Will Clash

Toby Jones or No-by Jones?

Too clever by half

Too much punctuation

Top 10 Christmas movies

Towering Inferno

Toxic Avenger rule

Transformers: Age Of Extinction

Transformers: Dark Of The Moon

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen

Transformers: The Movie

Transgender transept

Tromsø Love Party

Trust the tale not the teller

Two old men quoting Monty Python

UFO Interceptor

Un Chien Andalou

Uncertain Regard

Underwhelmed: Rise Of The Lychees

University of Made It Up

University of Warwick

Valentine's Day

Valley of the uncanny

Vanessa Hugeness

Vassos Alexander

Victoria Derbyshire

Viggo Mortensen

Wargle argle fargle dragon

Washed its face

Wassail, wassail, wassail

Wassup, wassup, wassup my father

Wayans Brothers

We're All Out Of Souffle

We Are The World

We Don't Live Here Anymore

Werner Herzog Satnav

What's the connection between Andrew Ridgeley and Eric Clapton?

What Happens In Vegas

Who's driving the boat?

William Friedkin

Willing suspension of disbelief

Witter Word of the Year

Wittertainment App

Wittertainment Cruise

Wittertainment On Tour

Wittertainment Party

Wittertainment Pledge

Wittertainment Prayer

Wittertainment Related Injury

Wittertainment Song

Wittertainment food

Wittertainment horoscope

Wittertainment jingle

Wittertainment miracle

Wittertainment playlist

Wolves At The Door

Women Pipe-Smokers

Woola Woola Woola

Worst. Week. Ever

Worst interviewee of all time

Would that it were so simple

Wrestling Names

Wrongteous Kill

Youth Without Youth

Ze bitter virtues of ORANGES

Zooey Deschanel

Miley Cyrus In The Best Of Both Worlds: Concert Tour - 3D