Neil Sean

Despite his claims of being "The most most read, most watched and most listened-to showbiz reporter in the world," neither Mark Kermode nor Simon Mayo had ever heard of Sky News' Neil Sean. This meant that when quotes from Sean describing the flaccid Simon Pegg comedy Run Fatboy Run as "At last, the comedy of the year. Simply perfect. Go now", Mark's anger was roused. Who was this person saying such things? What were their qualifications for doing so? "Perfect? Mary Poppins is perfect. Citizen Kane is perfect. The Exorcist is perfect. Run Fatboy Run has its moments, but perfect? What planet are you on?"

Further investigation revealed Sean described himself on his own website as a "Presenter, journalist, gossip guru and global showbiz king" - but crucially, not critic.

Mark ultimately concluded that Sean had either not seen the film, not seen any other films, not really said it, or wasn't really a critic that should be quoted in such huge letters on the poster.

Simon Mayo pointed out that, given Neil Sean's name consists of two first names, he is actually probably a hairdresser - giving rise to the hairdresser rule.