MELS

Stands for Maritime Environment Lachrymosity Syndrome.

This is a tendency to weep hot, salty tears when watching a film on a boat. It was prompted by an email from listener James Hall who reported suffering from the affliction on a cross-channel ferry, while watching Finding Dory in the on-board cinema. Mark seemed surprised by the very existence of a cinema on a boat, which makes one wonder how he remains entertained on the Wittertainment Cruise.

It appears that younger children may be immune to MELS, if James' son Sam is anything to go by.